i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
