I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
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