you win again, gameday.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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