I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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