I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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