I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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