We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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