btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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