The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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