She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
