I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
