Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
