He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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