I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
