There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
