32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
