If i come over, it means nothing
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He? As in you personified your dick?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
