well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
