shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Randomize
