im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
