The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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