Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
