Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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