based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Do you remember whose house we're in?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
