Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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