just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
