8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
My ATM looks so different sober.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
