we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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