and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
