I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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