I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
