I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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