i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
