I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
