Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
