You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
