You don't have asthma, your pregnant
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
