So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
