So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
