btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
