Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
