yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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