Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
