dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
