Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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