Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
