I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I can't put those talents on a resume
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
