I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
