please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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