I'm going to jail i love you
one two three fourrrrnication!
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
