we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
