dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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